Dealing with Emotions

emotions

 

Have you ever been so angry you said hurtful words you didn’t mean?

How about so sad that you cursed your own life?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed or anxious?

I am sure that these are emotions and feelings that we can all relate to.  However, we must not allow emotions to control our life.

So many people want to know how to control their emotions.  The answer is: YOU CAN’T! You can not control your emotions.  You can not control how you feel about something.  Have you ever been watching a movie, or reading something or listening to a speech and a tear sprung into your eye?  Has someone ever said something to you and you got immediately angry and offended even though you weren’t sure why you felt that way?

If you’ve answered yes, then you know that you can’t control your emotions.  You simply feel how you feel.  HOWEVER, you CAN control how to react and respond to those emotions.  You CAN control your thoughts and actions.  This is good news because by changing your thoughts you CAN change your emotional responses over time and by changing your actions you can make sure that you do not feel the need to act or react on every emotion that you feel.

We can cultivate learning to control our thoughts and actions by learning SELF CONTROL.  Self control is the ability to steer your action and your thoughts in the way that you want them regardless of outside influence or emotional upset.

Proverbs 25:28 says that a person without self control is like a city without walls.  Think about this imagery, especially in the context of when it was written.  In these days, a wall was the main fortifying agent of a city.  It protected against attack, monitored who and what entered and exited and was a way for dwellers to feel safe.  After the walls of a city were breached it was likely that city would fall in battle.  This proverb lets us know that if we do not exercise self control then we too are susceptible to everything that happens around us.  Instead of being able to go about our business, we will feel the need to act and react to everything taking place in the world and in our environment.  A person without self control is often out of control!  Our experiences from day to day can be very variable and if we have no self control then our reactions to those experiences will be variable as well.

You can not control what you feel, but you can control how you react to what you feel.  Exercise self control when dealing with your emotions and you will find you lead a calmer peaceful like.  If you allow everything to affect you it causes mental anguish and anxiety and can create other problems.

One really strong emotion that we all deal with is anger.  Anger can be a very difficult emotion to manage and it is a dangerous emotion without self-control because it is often pointed outward and causes harm to others.  The bible talks about being angry but do not sin.  So we see that anger itself is not the issue, but it is what we do with that anger that causes us to sin.  Plotting revenge, wishing the downfall of someone, engaging in schemes, deceit and plots of murder, gossiping, harboring hatred– all of these are sins that can sprout from anger.  We must learn to have control over our actions so that we can process our emotions.

Finally, a word about the tongue.  Our tongues can get us into a lot of trouble.  Emotions can cause us to say things we do not mean, both through negative thought processes in our minds and out loud to each other.  James 3 says that the tongues is such a small part of the body but it steers the course of our life like the rudder to a boat.  It is such a small organ, but it has the ability to cause a lot of trouble.  I’m sure many of us can relate!  I know there are things that I have said years ago that I still regret to this day.  If you can control your tongue, then you can really do anything!

So, give yourself space to feel how you feel. You can not control your emotions.  However, you can control your thoughts (that led to those emotions) and your actions (that result or respond to those emotions).  Give yourself grace in this learning and becoming process.  You are precious and you deserve it.

Keep up the good work!  Future You is Waiting For Your Arrival!

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The Process of Becoming

monarch

Watch my morning commute video that goes with this blog HERE

Have you ever gotten discouraged by the amount of progress you were (or weren’t!) making in life?

Have you ever dealt with disappointment or sadness about where you are life?

Have you ever felt like you could do more, be more, but struggled to make changes?

These are all thoughts and feelings that I am intimately familiar with.  However, I want you to be encouraged today on your journey to becoming. Whatever you goals are for yourself you CAN achieve, you can BECOME your dream, but it takes a process.

This is the process of becoming and it is not an easy or elegant process.  It is not a linear progression and has many bumps along the way.  However, with consistently applied pressure you can reach your goals.

Firstly, remember that is a process.  It will take time, energy and purpose to become.  It will take mistakes, set backs, up sets and all other host of unexpected occurrences.  However, TAKE FAITH! and trust the process.  Keep working and believe that all of your energy is working towards greater even if you can not see it. Like the butterfly in the cacoon, there is work being done where we can not see.  Keep Pressing!

Secondly, it will require you to give some things up.  This could be people, habits, though processes, etc.  You must surround yourself with people who support your dream and vision and who can share with you in your becoming process.  The Bible says that one can chase a thousand, but two can chase ten thousand.  When you have someone to join along side of you, work becomes that much more productive.

Thoughts and habits also need to be evaluated and let go if they no longer serve who you are trying to become and what you are trying to achieve.  You MUST be intentional in the process of becoming and ensure that you are taking proactive action in life and that life is not just happening to you.

Thirdly, goal setting is an important aspect of becoming as well.  Write your dreams and goals.  Speak them out loud.  Use affirmations.  There is power in writing and speaking your goals in dreams.  There is creative power in the words that we write and speak!  Use it to your advantage to create your dreams into reality.  Commit yourself to doing at least one small thing towards your goals everyday.  You have to harness the power of the moment in your planning process.  Lofty goals and dreams are great, but the foundation of it is laid in how you structure your day, minute by minute, hour by hour.

Keep planting the seeds of growth in your life and you will certainly reap a harvest.

What is your goal in becoming?  Share your thoughts!

Let’s keep working together! Future You is waiting for your arrival!

The Importance of Goal Setting

smart-goals-ss

Have you ever thought about something you wanted to achieve and then realized that you had no idea where to start?

Well, you are not alone!  This has happened to me a number of times, or, I begin and get stuck in the middle.  It seems that everyone in the self-improvement and motivation field talks about goal setting, but how exactly do you go about goal setting?

Well, today is your lucky day because I’ve got some tips for you.  There is an acronym that’s helpful and that is the word SMART.  Remember to set SMART goals.  SMART goals are:

Specific:  You can use the “who, what, where, when, why” 5 w’s to make sure your goals are specific.  What, exactly, are you trying to achieve, why is this goal important, who is involved or who needs to be involved, where will it take place, what resources do you need (or need to acquire)

Measurable: Your goal must be measurable and have a definite end point so that you will know that you definitely did or did not achieve it.

Attainable: You want to make sure that your goal is attainable.  The purpose is to break it down into an achievable chunk (even though ultimately, we are reaching for the stars!)

Relevant: Make sure that your goal is relevant and fits the larger picture for what you are trying to achieve and the direction you want to go.  For instance, it’s unhelpful for me to plan to move and buy a dog at the same time.  It’s better, for stabilities sake to do one and then the other.

Time-Bound: Your goal should be time based.  This will help keep you on target.  What can you achieve today? Tomorrow? In six months?  What is the total time frame for the goal?

When we use this rubric for goal setting, it’s a sure thing that we can work our way to achieving them.  Go to YouTube @GetFitWithFannieB and check out my planner video to see how I stay organized and on task. Like, comment and subscribe and let me know if you want to hear more about the topic of planning.

Goal setting is one of the most powerful tools that I have taken advantage of. When you set your goals you are also initiating a vision for those goals. The Bible tells us that without vision the people perish! This is true of your life. Without setting goals for yourself you run the risk of wasting precious time, energy, and resources and don’t forget that TIME is the most valuable non-renewable resource you have.

Consider applying this to all of your goals and see how much further you can go!  Don’t delay, Future You is waiting for your arrival!

What’s your current SMART Goal? If you don’t have one, make one today. It can be as simple as eat at home 5 out of 7 days a week, read a certain number of pages in a book over the next month or commit to being active a certain amount each day. The possibilities are endless. Share in a comment below!

For more posts like this be sure to like us on Facebook @GetFitWithFannieB, Join our Facebook group, find me on Instagram @getfitwithfannieb and subscribe on Youtube.

The Journey Begins

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.

— Izaak Walton

Have you ever felt like certain things would be easier or more fun if you just had someone to join you?

I know that I have felt like this a lot in my life.  I can’t count the times that I have gone to the movies or out to eat by myself because everyone else was busy and left the experience thinking about the things I would have shared with one of my friends if they’d been there.

I feel like this journey is the same.  When you surround yourself with like-minded individuals things have a tendency to go smoother and also to be more entertaining.  Like the quote above, the time seems to pass more quickly.  This is particularly important for such a life-changing undertaking as getting fit.  I chose the picture above because it is not a straight road, but a curved path and that is sure what self improvement is like.  There are ups, downs, and plenty of twists and turns.

That’s why I’m so glad you’ve decided to join with me on this journey.  We will work to improve our physical health, but also our emotional, mental and spiritual well-being as well.  This will be a holistic approach to fitness and we will emerge on the other side like diamonds. One of my favorite bible verses says, “One can chase 1,000 but two can chase 10,000” This just demonstrates that there is power in numbers and together we can achieve more than we ever could alone.

Comment below and let me know what you want to work on the most and what is the first step you are taking towards your goal.

Also, don’t forget to like our page on Facebook, join our Facebook group, and find us on Instagram and Youtube @getfitwithfannieb.

Looking forward to this journey with you.  Let’s go! Future you is waiting for your arrival!